Mama, you’re allowed to

As moms we feel the pressure to always be “on” and that may partly be because we always have to be on. The kids need us…like all the time! They may have dad sitting right next to them but they still yell for you to get them juice while you have a load of laundry in the washer and running out with a another load in a basket in your hands….or does that just happen at my house??? 

There is always something for us to do. Meals, laundry, dishes, cleaning, a diaper to change, an appointment to make, a movie to put on, someone asking for a snack, the list goes on and on….

Well guess what mama? You and I are allowed to take time to care for ourselves. We can take a break. Even if there are dirty dishes in the sink. 

You can turn off the button for everything else and press the “on” button for YOU. What would that look like? A run? Coffee with a friend? Locking yourself in the room and reading a good book? A nap? Getting your nails done? A weekly art class? 

I started having a Thursday night dinner with my best friend. Covid19 has messed that up a bit, but before this pandemic hit, every Thursday we would meet up for dinner. 2-3 hours of laughing, drinking a glass of wine, eating amazing food, venting our frustrations…I left feeling recharged and grateful that someone got me, someone knew what it was like to be me. 

I don’t know about you, but I have some tough days with my 2 little ones. Usually, it’s because I’m tired and stressed and even the littlest of things can make me snap, so I’m not as patient as I should be and I’m definitely not very warm and loving. If this is you, well I have good news for you. You’re human! I’m human. We’re going to have days like these, we’re going to have moments of anger, impatience, and snappiness. Moments you want to scream and drive straight to the United counter at the airport and book a flight to Cabo. And after we stop daydreaming about laying on a beach with a margarita in our hand, that nasty guilt kicks in. You’re allowed to give yourself grace mama! Tomorrow is another day!

I believe one reason we feel pressure to always be on is because of this silly idea we have of the “super mom.” The mom that does it all, while keeping it together, with a smile on her face, and still has more energy and love to give. Well guess what? I guarantee you that the super mom you’re thinking about, has locked herself in the bathroom with tears in her eyes to have a moment away from her kids. You are not in this alone. If you need help and support, It’s OK to ask for it. You are not less of a mom or a bad mom because you need an extra pair of hands or a set of ears to listen to you. And if you are really struggling and need more than just the support of a loved one, It’s OK to seek professional help. There are therapists, like myself, who want to listen and help. 

Mama, you’re allowed to do it. Give yourself permission. You and your little ones will both benefit from it.